We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.
"I don’t want my ears pierced."
"I don’t want any earrings."
The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.
She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”
Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’
We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.
Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’
Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.
Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.
No means no, yeah, right.
Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”
from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.
This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.
For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.
When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.
Love “Da Man Wit the Chips” but Jameila White is the new “Protest MVP.” #staywoke #trill
Latest positive news out of Ferguson. Community coming together.
Going on right now in Ferguson: Police are raiding a church that has been stocked with medical supplies, food, and tear gas recovery kits for community members engaging in protests. This cannot be allowed to continue.
Stand up, speak out.
one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’
no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty
Unfriendly reminder that in America it’s reasonable to say an unarmed black kid deserved to be shot six times because he might have robbed a convenience store, but a white kid shouldn’t be kicked off the high school football team just because he violently raped a girl.
please tell me im not the only one who remembers that photoset/gif that went around where it has the final scenes of death note where light is trying to defend himself but someone replaced the text so it was him teaching them how to swim
It’s at the end of this video. (Seriously, not just trying to RR you). Totally worth it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiaLeu9ojs4
Anonymous said: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
This is my abuelita Esperanza. The anniversary of her death was a week ago, so she makes an appropriate addition to the efforts to desexualize the Latina tag. Here’s a little more about her and her badassery:
- She was born in Tetelpa, Morelos to an impoverished family that managed to put her through college so she could become a schoolteacher.
- She met my abuelito in his rancho when she was doing her mandatory in-class teaching requisite and married him despite her parents’ wishes for her to marry another college graduate.
- There was only one time when my abuelito slipped up and thought he could get away with slapping her while they were living in a town that generally still allowed men to hit their wives. My abuelita responded by slamming him down onto the couch and repeatedly scratching his face. Once she finished, she said: “And the next time you touch me like that, I’ll KILL YOU.”
- If there was a street harasser bothering her daughters, the next day after hearing about it, she would walk a few feet behind them pretending she didn’t know them as they walked to school and proceed to chase the harasser down the road when he approached the girls.
- She routinely encouraged and helped women to leave their abusive husbands
- When young boys would misbehave toward women, she would grab them by their ears and take them to their mothers and make them explain what they had been caught doing.
- She would knock on the doors of abusers, harassers and rapists and punch them in the face before they got a chance to say anything.
- One time a guy on the bus was pretending to fall asleep so his face would “accidentally” fall into the breasts of the woman sitting next to him, so my abuela grabbed his hair and slammed his head into the window, telling him she didn’t believe he was sleeping, but to turn the other way if he needed to rest so bad.
- When my abuelita was in her 50s, my tío got really drunk and brought a woman home. The two kicked out his wife and kids, who went to my abuela for help. She went to my tío’s house, and when the woman accosted her, she grabbed her by the hair, dragged her outside and threw her in the street. She told her she should be ashamed for encouraging a drunk man who she didn’t know to throw a fellow woman and her children into the street. When my tío protested, she slapped him with a pan.
- She spiraled into depression when my abuelito died. When her children, all grown by then, told her to snap out of it because her health was declining, she replied stoically: “You are all old enough to take care of yourselves now. I’m going to go be with your father.”
I’m only sharing tweets for those who are not on twitter and can’t see how passionate and outraged journalists are as they tweet from #Ferguson.
If you are on Twitter, here’s a good roster of people to follow if you want to keep updated.
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